Catching Caroline (Silver Falls Book 1) Read online

  “From the moment I saw you again…it’s been different. It’s not the way it used to be, but…I can’t do anything about it. You know that.”

  “But why?” I asked softly, even though I knew the answer.

  “Because it’s you. You’re my best friend’s little sister. You’re off limits. I’ve always known that.” I’d known what he was going to say. We shouldn’t and we couldn’t. Sawyer would never forgive us.

  “So, that’s it then?” I asked softly.

  “Please don’t make this any more difficult than it’s already become, Caroline.”

  Our eyes locked and I felt a lump in my throat as I felt his hand rest on my knee. I wanted nothing more than to throw myself at him and finally feel his lips on mine. I couldn’t remember a time I’d ever felt anything like this and we hadn’t even done anything. Just being around Adam was consuming. Everything about him sucked me in, but he’d never get past the fact I was Sawyer’s little sister and I couldn’t keep sitting here like a desperate fool.

  “I…I should go then,” I said quietly, trying to dull the ache in my heart. I waited for him to tell me he was wrong, to tell me not to go, to beg me to stay, but he didn’t. He just removed his hand from my leg and he nodded.

  “Yeah, you probably should.”

  His voice was deep and raspy, pained almost, and I would’ve given anything to know what was going on inside of his head. I wouldn’t find out though because he stood up from the couch, holding his hand out to me to help me up. I looked at it for a second before taking it. His hands were so warm and just touching him was causing all kinds of feelings and thoughts to take over my body. Tell me to stay, my mind kept saying over and over as our eyes locked. He didn’t say it though. Instead, he led me to the door, opening it and letting go of my hand.

  “You don’t have to leave because of me,” I said quietly as we stood together in the doorway. “I know you came here for a reason and please don’t leave on account of me. I’ll…I’ll keep my distance…Please stay. I won’t get in the way.”

  “You’re never in the way, Caroline,” he said with a sweet smile as he brushed a piece of loose hair that had escaped my French braid behind my ear.

  I couldn’t stand here and do this anymore. I turned and walked back towards the house. He knew how I felt and I knew how he felt, but it didn’t matter because to him, I’d always be Sawyer’s little sister and he’d always be Adam DeLain and those two people could never be together. I got to the door and turned one more time to see his silhouette leaning against the door frame of the stable house, watching me. I waved subtly to him and he waved back before shutting the door and disappearing from sight. I walked into the house and told myself it was okay and that it didn’t hurt as much as it did, but I wasn’t fooling myself. It hurt like hell.

  Twelve

  I did my best to stay away from Adam, just like I said I would. I helped with the cows some. I couldn’t stop helping altogether, even though I wanted to so I didn’t have to see Adam, but if I did that, Sawyer would start asking questions and that was the last thing I wanted. Instead of engaging in conversation, I simply said good morning to Adam and went on my way. It was awkward in the barn though. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but I found my eyes drifting over to him, settling on him for too long. I swore he caught me a few times when he’d look in my direction and I’d quickly avert my gaze. I couldn’t have been more pathetic if I tried. I still didn’t know if he’d decided to stay or head back to Boston. I could only hope my apology had helped to sway his mind in the decision to stay.

  It’d been a few days since the night at the club and I got up early and got my work clothes on, heading out to the barn. Adam and Sawyer were already there, which didn’t surprise me. Even on my earliest days, they’d still beat me.

  “Finally up, I see,” Sawyer taunted as I walked in. Things had been good between us since we’d had it out.

  “Hey, it’s six-thirty. That’s plenty early,” I said and he just laughed.

  “I actually wanted to talk to you about something,” he said and I looked at him curiously while Adam kept working. He had become just as good as I had at ignoring each other.

  “What?” I asked him.

  “You’ve been hounding me to meet Lindsey and I think tonight’s the night.”

  “What’s the occasion?”

  “I just think it’s time,” he answered. “I was thinking I’d have her over for dinner before we go to the movies.”

  “And you’re asking me to cook?” I asked, resting my hand on my hip and eyeing him. He looked at me with that smile he gave me whenever he wanted something from me.

  “You know I’m a terrible cook,” he said.

  “Then why don’t we just go out?”

  “Because we only have two choices in town and I am not taking Lindsey to the restaurant where Grandma will harass us all night. I promise I’ll make it up to you. Please, Care,” Sawyer pleaded and I sighed, but finally nodded.

  “Fine. What do you want me to make? I’m going to have to go to the store. We haven’t been since Mom and Dad left.”

  “Whatever you want to make is fine with me. I’m at your mercy.”

  “Is chicken parmesan okay?” I asked and then Sawyer looked at Adam.

  “Is that good with you?” he asked and Adam nodded.

  “Anything’s fine,” he answered, but I noticed how he kept his head down and didn’t look at me.

  “Chicken parm it is then,” I said and grabbed a broom, heading to the other side of the barn.

  “Thank you, Caroline!” my brother shouted at me and I just gave him a wave before getting to work.

  I helped the guys for a couple of hours. It was quiet work. Sawyer and I exchanged some banter as did Adam and my brother, but I wondered if Sawyer picked up on the fact that the communication between Adam and me was almost nonexistent.

  There was still work to do, but I had to get to town to pick up the supplies for dinner. Truthfully, when I walked out of the barn, I was glad to be away from the ever present cloud that was Adam DeLain. For someone who’d barely spoken to me over the last week, he sure was making himself at home in my thoughts because it seemed he was all I could think about.

  I cleaned myself up before driving to the grocery store, then came home and got started on dinner. Sawyer told me Lindsey would be at the house at five-thirty for dinner so they could catch the eight-thirty show at the theatre in Burlington, and just as he’d promised, there was a knock on the door at half-past five.

  I’d finished cooking and Adam was setting the table. We hadn’t said much to each other. He commented on how it smelled good, but we were becoming pros at our façade and no one would’ve known anything had changed between us.

  Sawyer went to answer the door and then I heard quiet talking coming from the family room. A few moments later, my brother was back, followed by a pretty brunette and then I was surprised to see another girl walk in. I immediately looked at Sawyer, my eyebrow raised in question.

  “Caroline, this is Lindsey,” Sawyer said, beginning the introductions. Lindsey smiled at me and then walked over, shaking my hand.

  “It’s nice to meet you. Your brother’s told me so much about you,” she said as I sized her up. She was pretty and petite. She couldn’t have been more than five foot three and her hair was sleek and shiny as it hung down her back.

  “It’s nice to meet you too, Lindsey,” I said, putting on my best smile. It was always a little awkward meeting my brother’s girlfriends for the first time, but I could tell he was into Lindsey and I wanted her to feel welcome.

  “And this is Angie, Lindsey’s friend,” Sawyer continued and my eyes moved over to the girl next to Lindsey. She was cute too, the tall and thin type with flawless skin and wavy brown hair. She smiled over to me, but I saw the way her eyes immediately went to Adam who’d just finished setting the table. I looked over and saw he’d set five places. Obviously he’d known we were having an extra guest when I did not.
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  “Hi, Angie,” I said, forcing her eyes back to me and I could feel myself staring at this stranger, wondering what in the hell she was doing here.

  “Thanks for having me, Caroline,” she said and once she was done addressing me, her focus was back on Adam. He came over, extending his hand to her.

  “I’m Adam,” he said and then he leaned in, greeting her with a quick hug. I felt my eyes grow wide at the display. What the hell was going on here?

  “It’s nice to finally meet you, Adam,” Angie said when they’d pulled apart, but she couldn’t take her eyes off of him.

  “Is dinner just about ready?” Sawyer asked, coming over to where I stood by the stove.

  “Yeah,” I said, but then turned to him. “Actually though, there’s a bottle of wine I wanted to serve, but I couldn’t reach it. Can you come with me down to the basement so you can get it?”

  He looked at me quizzically, but nodded and followed me out of the kitchen. I opened the basement door and he followed me down the steps.

  “What wine are you talking about?” he asked, looking around.

  “There is no wine.”

  “Then why are we down here?”

  “You didn’t tell me someone else was coming, Sawyer.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

  “You don’t just invite an extra person for dinner without telling the person who’s preparing the meal.”

  “Do we have enough food?”

  “I think so. I cooked a little extra for leftovers.”

  “Then what’s the problem?” he asked.

  “It’s rude, Sawyer. I did a favor for you,” I snipped at him.

  “I know and I’m sorry, but Angie was able to come last minute. I thought it’d be nice to set Adam up with someone.”

  “Wait,” I said flatly, staring at my brother. “Angie is Adam’s date?”

  “Yeah. She’s a nice girl. I thought they might hit it off. He’s been holed up at the house ever since he got here. I thought it would be good for him to get out,” he said and I had to collect my thoughts before I started raging at my brother.

  “Does Adam know she’s his date?”

  “Of course he does,” Sawyer scoffed.

  “And he’s okay with it?”

  “What is the problem, Caroline?”

  “I thought he came here to lay low.”

  “He did, but Angie doesn’t even know who he is. She doesn’t follow baseball at all so she’s perfect for him. That’s another reason I wanted dinner here, so it could be private and the movies are dark, so he’s safe there too.”

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea, Sawyer,” I said and he looked at me, folding his arms and raising an eyebrow.

  “Why?”

  “I just don’t. People were all over him at Goodman’s once they realized who he was. He doesn’t need that right now and I can’t believe you’d even ask him to go.”

  “Gimme a break, Caroline. Adam’s used to this. He loves the attention. Always has,” Sawyer said, but I detected a hint of annoyance in his voice as he talked about Adam.

  “I don’t think you know your best friend very well then,” I said and I saw his eyebrows crease.

  “And you do?”

  “I’m just trying to make you see that maybe this isn’t a great idea.”

  “Since when do you care so much about Adam?”

  “I don’t,” I said quickly, but then realized how insensitive that sounded. “I mean, I do care about Adam. I’ve always cared about him, but it’s…it’s different now. I just hope you didn’t pressure him or anything.”

  “I didn’t,” he said defensively. “I just asked him if he wanted to go and he said yes.”

  “And he was okay with it?”

  “Seriously, Caroline?” he asked with another raised eyebrow. “Obviously, he was okay with it or he wouldn’t be going. What the hell is the big deal?”

  “It’s not a big deal. I’m simply asking,” I said and then we stared at each other for a few quiet moments, all the while that curious look on his face.

  “I didn’t realize an extra dinner guest would get you so pissed off. I can’t stand it when you go off like this,” he mumbled, but I chose to ignore his remark. I’d already said too much. “Since there’s no wine, can we please get back upstairs?” He was annoyed. I could tell by the tone of his voice.

  “Yeah,” I said quietly.

  “What are we going to say when we come back empty-handed?”

  “Just tell them I was mistaken and it wasn’t there after all,” I said, turning quickly and walking back upstairs, Sawyer close behind me.

  Back in the kitchen, Lindsey and Angie were already seated. Adam was grabbing wine glasses out of the cabinet, but stopped when he saw we didn’t have any with us.

  “Where’s the wine?” he asked.

  “Caroline was wrong. She thought she saw the bottle on top of the wine rack, but it was just an old bottle of my dad’s merlot,” Sawyer answered and then he glanced over to me with that stupid look I’d been seeing my entire life. “I think Caroline’s losing her mind.”

  I knew this was a direct slight to our conversation earlier. I responded by pretending to scratch my cheek when really, I was giving him the finger. He scowled the scowl I’d grown to know so well over the course of my life and shook his head, obviously not impressed with my behavior in front of his new girlfriend.

  “What can I get everyone to drink then?” I asked, turning away from Sawyer and doing my best to put on a graceful face while trying not to glare at Angie.

  “Go ahead and sit, Care,” Sawyer said as if we weren’t in the middle of a silent banter only seconds ago. “You made dinner. I’ll get the drinks.”

  I didn’t argue and I sat at the head of the table. I assumed the open places next to each of the girls was reserved for their dates. Sawyer brought over glasses and a pitcher of water just as Adam sat down in the spot next to Angie. He smiled politely at her and I watched the grin on her face. I told myself not to watch her or think about the fact that she was going to be with him tonight or the fact she wouldn’t stop looking at him or that he kept glancing at her too. I couldn’t help it though and I could feel my throat tightening at the thought. Stop it! Stop being so petty! I was shouting at myself on the inside while trying to maintain a sense of calm on the outside.

  I sat quietly throughout dinner, listening to the conversations. Angie had graduated two years before from UVM. She now worked in Montpelier as a social worker. I couldn’t find any faults with her, even though I wanted to. She seemed nice enough, but I tried not to notice the way Adam watched her intently as she talked. I knew he was interested in her. There was no reason not to be and I did my best to keep my childish jealously at bay.

  I also learned more about Lindsey. Sawyer and her had met online. She lived in Montpelier too and worked as a nurse in the same hospital as Angie. She was the sweet, soft-spoken type and my brother couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off of her. He looked happy and even though I was fighting with my own inner-struggles with this whole evening, seeing him with Lindsey made me content. Sawyer deserved to be happy and I hoped Lindsey really was as good as she seemed.

  Adam was relatively quiet, listening mostly, but I noticed he didn’t want to talk much about himself. Angie knew he was a baseball player even if she didn’t follow the sport and I knew she was impressed the more she learned about him. Adam wasn’t divulging the information, but my brother was quick to fill her in and by the end of dinner, I think she realized this wasn’t an ordinary blind date.

  When dinner was over, I stood up and began clearing the plates. Adam got up too and started helping, but I looked at him and shook my head.

  “Thanks, but I’ve got this,” I told him as the others started filing out of the room, thanking me for dinner as they passed by me.

  “At least let me help you clear the table,” Adam said, bringing the dishes over.

  “Really, Adam,” I said, loo
king up at him again, “I’ll take care of it. It’s rude to ignore your date.” I didn’t realize how harsh my last sentence sounded until it had left my mouth.

  “About that, Caroline, Sawyer asked me and…” he began, but I interrupted.

  “You don’t owe me an explanation, Adam,” I said softly, not wanting anyone to hear us. “I hope you have a good time. She seems really nice.” I smiled again so I wouldn’t cry. I hated having to pretend I was okay.

  “Caroline,” he said softly, his hand resting on my arm. I looked down at where his skin touched mine and then met his eyes again.

  “Don’t, Adam,” I said sternly, finally unable to keep up this façade that the idea of him going out with this bimbo after flat out rejecting me didn’t bother me. It did bother me and he knew it. He had to have known it was going to bother me and yet he didn’t bother to tell me about it, not until he was setting the extra plate at dinner. What bothered me even more though was that it obviously didn’t bother him. I quickly pulled my arm away from his hand. “Just don’t say anything else to me. Go have fun with Angie.”

  I watched as he just stood there, not moving, but looking as if he wanted to say something. He didn’t though and then he brushed by me and left. The room felt so empty with him gone. I closed my eyes and I could still feel where his fingers had been before I’d torn my arm away. I found myself imagining them other places on my body, imagining if he could do this to me with a simple touch, what else could Adam do to me? I couldn’t do this to myself. I was off limits. He’d said it himself. No amount of wishful thinking or erotic fantasies about Adam would change that. I breathed in deeply, opening my eyes again, bringing me back to reality. I heard the front door shut. The house was quiet and I told myself I didn’t miss him.

  ~~~

  I didn’t want to stay home. I didn’t want to think about Adam. Since I hadn’t seen Erica since the night at the club and we’d only exchanged a few texts, I decided making amends with her would be better than sitting at home. I got in my car, swung by the Redbox and grabbed a movie she’d hopefully be interested in watching with me.