Because of You Read online

  “I…um…I don’t know…” I said, reaching up and pushing a loose piece of hair back nervously, but when I looked into his eyes again, I wasn’t nervous anymore. “Okay,” I finally said.

  “Excellent,” he said. “Just let me know when you’re ready.”

  I nodded and then he turned and headed back to his table.

  ~~~

  The table of drunks was long gone when I clocked out. Trey and Tia were gone too and after I grabbed my purse, I found myself walking slowly towards the table Gabe was sitting at. He was looking at something on his phone, but he must’ve heard me coming because he put it away and looked up when I got to the edge of the table.

  “All set to go?” he asked.

  “Yeah. I just clocked out,” I told him as I looked around the pub that was starting to empty since the Bruins game was over.

  He stood up then and we made our way outside. The temperature had dropped and I pulled on my heavy coat. Gabe had pulled his coat on too and we started walking.

  “There’s a little coffee shop just up the block,” I said as we walked.

  “Okay,” he said and we walked in silence until the sign for Café Java came into view. “Isn’t this near the spot we first met?” Gabe asked, looking around and I laughed, remembering the day I was running to the parking meter.

  “This is actually the place I was working on my paper and then came out to see you writing me up,” I told him and we both laughed as he held the door open for me.

  It wasn’t busy inside. There were a few people with laptops, probably college kids like myself, and a few tables filled with friends. There wasn’t a line and we went straight to the counter. I ordered a cappuccino while Gabe settled for a plain black coffee. I reached for my wallet to pay, but I felt his hand on my arm, gently pushing it away as he handed the barista his card.

  “Thanks,” I said timidly and he looked over at me, a soft smile on his face.

  “Sure,” he said as he took his coffee from the girl. My cappuccino was ready a few moments later and then we found a table in the back. I liked the seclusion it offered us. Not that it mattered anyway. Everyone else was engaged in their own conversations, not paying attention to Gabe and I.

  “How’ve you been?” he asked after a few quiet moments. He took a sip of his drink and then set it back down, looking at me with those eyes as dark as the coffee in his mug.

  “I’m okay,” I said and took a drink of my cappuccino.

  “You look better than the last time I saw you.”

  “I’m feeling better,” I said, trying to sound cheerful.

  “I’m glad,” he said, looking down at his coffee for a second before raising his eyes to meet mine again. “I’ve been worried about you.” His voice was quiet and I could see the concern in his eyes. “I know it’s not my place and I know it’s not my business, but I also can’t sit here with you and not say anything.” I looked up to meet his dark eyes and the way he was looking back at me made me uneasy. I knew he was uncomfortable with whatever was about to come out of his mouth and I could feel the knots in my stomach as I waited for him to say something. “I see it all the time in my work.”

  “See what?” I asked quickly.

  “A man should never hurt you,” he said softly and I looked away from his eyes and down at the table because I could no longer look at him, not with the shame I felt. “And I see it too much. Too much.” His voice was soft and he shook his head. “I saw the bruises on your arm that day at your apartment when I was there with Detective Blanchard.” I felt a lump forming in my throat. I’d known he’d seen them. He’d looked right at them, but to hear him say it was too much. To sit across from him, knowing he knew my secret, it wasn’t something I was prepared for.

  “You’re right,” I said defensively because it was all I could think to do. “This isn’t your business. You don’t know my situation and you don’t know me.”

  He waited a second to respond, but he never looked away from my eyes.

  “I saw you that night though and I saw that you could’ve died.”

  “I fell down the stairs. Detective Blanchard even said that. It was an accident. No one did that to me but myself.” I could tell by the way he was looking at me he didn’t believe that.

  “I just want you to be safe and if you’re not…” he said, but I interrupted.

  “I was stupid. I know that, but Tyler Reeves,” I said softly, “he’s not in my life anymore.”

  “You are not stupid. You never were,” he said and I could feel my throat tightening. How could he sit across from me and actually tell me that? I was stupid. It was my fault for ever getting involved with him; for letting him do the things he’d done to me.

  “It’s over, so you don’t have to worry about me anymore. You can stop wondering if the girl from the parking meter is okay because I am,” I said forcefully to him. “I can just be a story you tell from now on.”

  “You’ll never be just a story,” he said adamantly. “No one is just a story and I care about what happens to you. I want you to know that.”

  “Why?” I asked softly. “Why do you care so much? You don’t even know me.”

  “I don’t have to know you,” he said, pausing before continuing. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what happened to you that night…the night I got the call and found you at the bottom of the stairs.”

  “I can’t be the first person you’ve helped.”

  “No, you’re not, but it was different this time.”

  “Why?”

  “I knew it was you the second I stepped into your building. That changed everything.”

  “You only met me that one time though,” I said softly, brushing a piece of hair behind my ear, feeling my anger from earlier subsiding.

  “Sometimes that’s all it takes.” He smiled at me and I felt my cheeks grow warm as I looked down at the table top. “I’m sorry,” Gabe said, his voice low and sweet, drawing my eyes back to him. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

  “You didn’t,” I lied. His comment had me uncomfortable. No one had ever said anything like that to me before and I didn’t know what to do with the information.

  “Sometimes with this job…there are moments that stick with you more than the rest. Sometimes I just want to forget what I see…what I have seen and sometimes certain cases hit you harder than others…like yours.”

  “Why though?” I asked quietly, nervously running my thumb over the handle of the mug.

  “That day at the parking meter,” he began, “you…you uh…you made me remember you.” Gabe seemed nervous now and I was flattered, even though I couldn’t for the life of me understand how I’d accomplished that.

  “How?” I prodded nervously. I was surprised by my persistence. I was having a hard time understanding Gabe though and why I had been anything more than a case to him.

  “I don’t know,” he said, looking across the table at me. “Have you ever met someone that you instantly want to know more about?”

  I shrugged my shoulders.

  “I’m not sure I have,” I answered and I watched as he cocked his head to the side a little as if he was thinking.

  “I felt sorry for you that day. The way you ran up that hill. I thought you were going to start screaming at me,” he said with a quiet laugh. “You didn’t though. You were the epitome of respect, which frankly, I don’t come across as much as I’d like to. I felt like a jerk writing that ticket.”

  “You shouldn’t have. It was my fault,” I sighed, thinking back to that day. “I should’ve been keeping better track of the time. You should’ve just written me that ticket and let me pay my debt to society…not that I would’ve been able to afford it,” I said and we both laughed quietly.

  “Then you would’ve hated me and I couldn’t have that.” I felt myself blush again.

  “No, I wouldn’t have,” I told him and he smiled again.

  “I couldn’t take the chance,” he said and I smiled back at him
before it grew quiet again.

  We each took a few more sips of our drinks and then he leaned forward across the table towards me. “I won’t pretend to know you, Sam, and I’m sorry if I upset you earlier, but I really just want to make sure you’re okay.”

  I swallowed hard, thinking about what I should say. I didn’t know how to answer Gabe. I didn’t even know the guy and yet he’d shown more concern about me than anyone other than my sister. I knew I couldn’t lie to him. He wouldn’t have believed me even if I had.

  “I’m not,” I finally said as I bit back the tears. I could not shed a single pathetic tear in front of him. “I don’t think I’m okay.” My voice was soft and I knew it sounded weak, but I didn’t cry. I watched as Gabe’s face softened. He’d already known the answer, but hearing it from me solidified everything he’d said earlier.

  “You will be,” he said and then I felt a weight on my hand. I looked down to see his hand resting on mine. The feeling of his skin took me back to that night as I lay at the bottom of the stairs, scared and confused, but finding comfort in the same soft voice I heard now and the hand that now guarded mine.

  “Maybe I will be,” I answered and he held his hand over mine for a few more seconds before slowly sliding it off just as the ringing of my cell phone interrupted the silence that had settled in. I reached for it quickly and saw it was Rachel. “It’s my sister,” I told him and he nodded.

  “I just wanted to check in. I just got home and thought you’d you be back by now,” she said the moment I picked up.

  “I’m out with a friend getting some coffee,” I told her. “I’ll be home soon.”

  “Okay. I just wanted to check in.”

  “I’m fine. You don’t need to worry.”

  “I’ll always worry,” she said and I sighed.

  “I know you will.”

  “I’ll see you soon then,” she said and hung up.

  “I should probably get home,” I said, putting my phone away and looking across the table at Gabe. “Rachel has a tendency to freak out and she expected me home already.” I started gathering my things and then stood up. Gabe did the same and he followed me outside the coffee shop back into the cold air.

  “I’m glad I ran into you tonight,” he said.

  “Me too,” I told him and I meant it, even though he’d upset me earlier. Deep down I knew that the anger had been because hearing the truth hurt.

  “Which way do you go?” he asked and I pointed down the street. “I’ll walk you home then.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “Of course, I do. I’m not going to let you walk alone this late.”

  “Thank you,” I said softly. He smiled again and he got in step beside me as we made our way to my apartment. We walked in silence for a while before he spoke.

  “Do you walk home by yourself every night?” he asked a few minutes later.

  “Whenever I have to work. It’s really not that far. It’s not worth bringing the car,” I told him and then I turned to see the apprehension on his face. “I take it you don’t approve.”

  “I’m sure you’re very capable of taking care of yourself, but yes, it makes me a little uneasy.”

  “It’s not that bad,” I said and I saw him recoil a little.

  “You don’t know what I know.”

  “Maybe it’s best I live in my naiveite then. Maybe I don’t want to know about the monsters lurking around every corner,” I told him.

  “You’ve got a good point, but you can’t always be complacent,” he said and we kept walking.

  “You see a lot of stuff then?”

  “Sometimes.”

  “Why do you do it then?” I asked him.

  “Because sometimes I can do some good,” he said, his voice soft as he spoke.

  “It can’t be easy though.”

  “It’s not.”

  “Do you think it’s worth it?” I asked.

  “I know it is,” he said just as we approached my apartment building. We stopped at the door and it was quiet for a few moments.

  “Thank you for walking me home,” I told him and he nodded.

  “It was my pleasure,” he said and then I motioned towards the door.

  “I should probably get inside before Rachel sends out the cops to look for me.”

  “You can tell her they’re already here,” he said and I had to smile at his joke.

  “True,” I said and it grew quiet again for a few moments.

  “I’m sorry if I overstepped earlier,” he said and I could tell he was nervous.

  “It’s okay. I…I appreciate your concern,” I stumbled. I did appreciate it, but I hated that he even knew about it in the first place.

  “I hope this isn’t presumptuous, but,” he began and I could sense his nerves again, “it was nice talking to you tonight. Can I see you again?”

  I didn’t know what to say. I’d liked talking to him too, despite everything earlier. I wanted to see him again and get to know this man better, but I didn’t know what any of this meant. He was a cop, the cop who’d found me at my most vulnerable, a cop who knew too much about me, and despite all of this, he still wanted to see me. I couldn’t understand why.

  “Is this even okay?” I asked.

  “What?”

  “You and me, hanging out. Is it okay with everything that happened?”

  “I was just the reporting officer. According to Blanchard, your case is closed. Now we’re just two people.”

  “You know that’s not true. We’ll never be just two people, not after what you saw…not after what you know.”

  I watched as his concern washed over his face.

  “That’s not how I see you. I just want to know you.”

  Our eyes locked again and the kindness I saw in them wasn’t something I was used to, but I knew I didn’t want to tell him no. I wanted to know him too.

  “Okay,” I said quietly, trying to flash him a soft smile.

  “I’ve got tickets to the Pats game on Sunday. Can you come?”

  “Yeah, I think I can,” I told him and then reached into my purse for a pen. I clicked the top and then took his hand, writing my number onto his palm, feeling very much like a teenager again.

  “I’ll text you the details,” he said, looking down at the blue numbers scrawled on his skin. “I’m looking forward to it.”

  “Me too,” I said, smiling at him once more before unlocking the door. He watched until I was safely inside before leaving. I turned to head up the stairs, but then I stopped, my eyes fixated on the spot where Gabe had found me that night. So much about that night was a blur, but one thing that wasn’t was the comfort I felt in his arms that night. It was as clear as day to me.

  I took a deep breath and headed upstairs. I unlocked the door to find Rachel sitting on the couch in her sweats, reading a book. She looked up when she saw me and I smiled at my sister before closing the door.

  “Hey,” I said, setting my keys and purse on the table. “How was work?”

  “It was okay. What about you?”

  “It was fine,” I said, heading down the hallway to the bathroom. I liked to shower after a night at O’Leary’s. I always felt like there was a fine layer of grease on my skin after a shift. I felt good after my shower and went to my room to change into my pajamas. There was a knock on my door as I ran a brush through my hair.

  “Come in,” I said and Rachel peeked in a second later before walking in.

  “So, you went for coffee after work?” she asked, settling herself on my bed.

  “Yeah. It was nothing. Sorry to worry you.”

  “I didn’t mean to call and nag. I was just surprised you weren’t home. I got a little worried. Did you have a good time?”

  “I did,” I said, looking at her suspiciously. She was doing a terrible job of hiding her concern. “You think I was out with Tyler, don’t you?”

  “No…no…I didn’t say that,” she stammered.

  “You don’t have to say anyt
hing. I know exactly what you’re thinking,” I told her and it grew quiet for a few moments. “And just so you know, I wasn’t with Tyler so you can stop thinking that.”

  “Who were you with then? I mean…no offense, Sam, but other than Tyler, you haven’t been out with anyone in a long time,” she said and I felt myself cringe at her words because they were true. Once I was with Tyler, he was my life.

  “Actually,” I began hesitantly, “I was with Gabe.”

  I watched Rachel’s face, realizing it wasn’t registering with her.

  “Gabe? Who’s Gabe?”

  “Officer Torres,” I said and my sister’s eyes grew wide and she seemed to jump back a little when she realized who I was talking about.

  “Officer Torres? What? Why were you out with him?”

  “He was at the pub tonight and we got to talking. He asked me to get some coffee with him.”

  “Why?” she exclaimed.

  “I don’t know,” I said softly, shrugging my shoulders. “I guess he wanted to check on me and see how I was doing.”

  “That was it?” she asked.

  “Yeah. We just talked,” I said quietly and then stared down at my bedspread.

  “It seems a little strange though, don’t you think?” she asked skeptically. “I mean, he’s not just some guy. He’s a cop,” she said and then paused before continuing. “He’s the cop who was there when it happened.”

  “I know that, Rache. I thought it was a little odd too, but…but it wasn’t. Not after we talked. He asked me to the Patriots game on Sunday.”

  “Like on a date?”

  “He just asked me to go. I wouldn’t call it a date.”

  She didn’t say anything, but I watched as her eyebrow raised and she gave me that look I’d grown to know so well whenever she was unsure of something I was doing.

  “Are you sure you’re ready for this? With everything that’s going on with Tyler?”

  “Nothing’s going on with Tyler anymore.”

  “We don’t know that,” she said and I could hear the frustration in her voice. “I know you don’t remember and I know what that dick of a detective said, but I won’t believe Tyler isn’t responsible for what happened to you until you remember and can tell me yourself.”