Catching Caroline (Silver Falls Book 1) Read online

  “Come here, Caroline. I found a twig and berries,” he said and I started walking towards him until he began laughing and I stopped when I finally understood what he meant.

  “Would you stop with the penis jokes?” I said, glaring at him when he turned around.

  “You said earlier that they were funny and you know they are,” he said, walking over and nudging me.

  “Why do you have to keep teasing me?” I said as we started walking again. I could hear the sound of the waterfall only a short distance away.

  “Because it’s so easy.”

  “Well, I’ve had it with the dick jokes,” I said, trying to make my voice stern, but he just continued to laugh under his breath. “Seriously, Adam,” I said, stopping in my tracks, which caused him to stop as well. “Yes, your stupid little immature jokes and puns are funny, but really, enough is enough. Twig and berries? Seriously? How old are you anyway? Thirteen?”

  “Don’t you know baseball players never really grow up?” he asked and I continued to glare at him. There was still a smirk on his face, but it didn’t last long when he knew I’d had it up to my eyeballs with the taunts.

  “Okay. The twig and berries was the last one. Now, c’mon, we still have a long rod to the waterfall.”

  He turned quickly, trying to hold in his laughter as I stood open mouthed at his latest jab.

  “You’re an asshole, Adam DeLain! The world may think you’re some kind of God, but I know better!” I shouted at him, which only made him laugh harder, which only pissed me off even more. I started running to catch up with him and then, just like when we were younger, I jumped onto his back, wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. I started pounding on him. His laughter only got louder and then I felt him grab my ankles and he took off full speed down the path. The faster we went, the harder I had to hold on not to fall off and I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I started laughing, only stopping when we finally made it into the clearing and Silver Falls was in front of us.

  I slid down his back and he was panting to catch his breath, but the smile was still on his face.

  “Still mad at me?” he asked and I shook my head.

  “No,” I answered.

  “And I promise for real this time, no more jokes.” He crossed his heart and for some reason I believed him.

  I reached into the backpack, handing us each a bottle of water.

  “Thirsty?” I asked and he nodded.

  “Yeah.” He grabbed it and took a long drink, just as I did before turning to look at the waterfall cascading over the shiny granite.

  Adam walked to the edge of the small pool where the water from the falls collected. I followed him and a few bits of it spit out at us. We stood for a few quiet moments until he spoke.

  “I didn’t mean to be a jerk earlier with all the jokes,” he began. “I just thought maybe if you could laugh about it more, it’d make you feel better.”

  “I know you weren’t trying to be a dick,” I said, a quick laugh escaping my throat and he turned to me with one eyebrow raised as I joined in his puns.

  “Good one, Caroline,” he said and then smiled over to me. “You’ve got a nice laugh.”

  “Thanks,” was all I could think to say and then it was quiet for a few moments. I watched him out of the corner of my eye. He was staring at Silver Falls and I knew he was thinking about something other than us and this place. “What about you, Adam?”

  “What about me?” he asked, moving his eyes from the waterfall and to mine.

  “How’re you doing?” I asked, almost afraid that I had.

  “I’m fine. Why do you ask?”

  “Because you looked about a million miles away a second ago.” He didn’t answer me and he looked back at the falls. It was uncomfortable standing like this and after a few more moments, I walked over to the backpack, pulling out a protein bar and sitting down on the trunk of a tree that had fallen over a lifetime ago. Adam continued to stand by the falls, but then he turned and came towards me, sitting down beside me on the trunk.

  “Got one of those for me?” he asked, gesturing to the protein bar. I nodded and reached into the bag and handed him one. “Thanks,” he said, tearing open the wrapper. He took a few bites and I finally decided to ask him what was on my mind.

  “Why’d you really come back to Silver Falls, Adam?” I asked and he was quiet as he finished chewing the bite he was working on.

  “Do I really need a reason to come home?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I can’t recall the last time you did. There has to be a reason,” I told him and he stared at me quizzically for a few moments before he spoke again.

  “Fine. If you need a reason, I guess it’s so I could remember what it was like to be me,” he said. I hadn’t expected such an honest answer, but it’s what I got. He took another bite of the protein bar and before I could say anything else, he turned on the trunk so he was facing me. “When I left Silver Falls, I didn’t know what to expect. I just wanted to play baseball and that’s what I did for a while. Portland was fun, but then when I got called up to Pawtucket, it all changed.”

  “Why?” I asked, hoping he’d continue to open up to me. He’d said so little about baseball since he showed up. It seemed it was almost an afterthought to him, even though I knew it was probably all he thought about.

  “The expectations changed. Everyone’s fighting for a spot and then to hear your name being tossed around as the next big thing,” he said, pausing for a moment before looking up from the ground and into my eyes. “It scared the shit outta me. I wasn’t allowed to have an off day. I wasn’t allowed to just be a good pitcher. The Boston media…even the national outlets had dubbed me an ace. You don’t know what kind of pressure that is.”

  I didn’t know. I’d never done anything even close to what Adam had done, but I could see the worry in his eyes now.

  “You did so well though, Adam. You were amazing,” I said and before I realized what I’d done, I’d reached for his hand, taking it in mine. I waited for him to pull away, but he didn’t.

  “But every day I was afraid I wouldn’t be and that they’d drop me back down to the minors or use me as a prospect in a trade deal. Every time the manager would call one of the guys into his office to talk, I wondered if I’d be next.”

  “But you weren’t. You made it to Fenway and you were incredible. Lights out the whole night,” I said, smiling fondly as I recalled sitting around the TV with my family watching as Adam made his Red Sox debut.

  “You watched?”

  “Of course I did,” I said, smiling at him. “We all did. It was so weird seeing you on the TV for the first time and when your name and stats popped up on the screen, it was surreal. I couldn’t believe it was really you, but you were so good, Adam. So good,” I said, reaching over and squeezing his hand, giving him my best supportive smile. “How after all this time, and everything you’ve achieved, can you doubt how amazing you are?” I asked him and I waited for a smile in return, but it didn’t come.

  “Self-doubt is a powerful thing, Caroline,” he said quietly.

  “I just never would’ve guessed you felt that way. When I’ve seen you on TV or seen stories about you, you seem…you seem…” I said, pausing to think, but he cut me off.

  “Like an arrogant douchebag,” he finished and I felt myself jump back a little at his choice of words.

  “I wouldn’t exactly say that,” I told him with a quiet laugh. “Confident maybe, not arrogant, and definitely not a douchebag.”

  He looked at me suspiciously.

  “I was a cocky son of a bitch. Don’t try and be nice, Caroline.”

  I felt the left side of my mouth pull up because as I thought back on what I’d seen of Adam, I could see why he would say that. I knew the money he’d been paid. I knew he had a nice place in Boston. I knew he drove nice cars. I knew the kind of women on his arm.

  “It must be so different than Silver Fa
lls,” I said.

  “It is,” he agreed and then it grew quiet for a few moments.

  “What’s it like?” I asked. Even though I’d known Adam almost my whole life, he’d become an enigma since he left, like he wasn’t even real anymore. As he sat before me though and I looked into his eyes, I knew he was real. “I mean…having money and…and things we didn’t have growing up here.” I watched as he looked away and I immediately began regretting being so pushy. We’d been talking. We’d opened up to each other, but I shouldn’t have asked him about those things. “I’m sorry,” I said before he could respond. “That’s none of my business.”

  “It’s fine,” he said and he looked down at our hands. I hadn’t even realized I was still holding his. I started to pull mine away, but when I did, he wouldn’t let me and I stopped trying. “The money was nice at first. I got my first decent contract a couple of years ago and I did what any sensible twenty-one-year-old does.”

  “What?” I asked curiously.

  “Bought a Mercedes,” he said and we both started to laugh. “I just got rid of that car before I came back to Silver Falls and got my truck instead.”

  “It seems more suited to you,” I told him and our eyes met.

  “I think so too,” he said softly. “Money though…it’s not everything you think it is.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Because when you have it, you don’t know who your real friends are. Same goes for women,” he said and I felt a pit in my stomach thinking about the women throwing themselves at him all the time.

  “I saw your girlfriends,” I said, giving him a teasing smile and he rolled his eyes. “What’s that look for?”

  “I know what you’re thinking about me, Caroline.”

  “And what is that?”

  “You think I sleep with a lot of women,” he said flatly and I didn’t know what to say because he was right. I had assumed that. “See,” he said with a nervous grin. “You can’t even deny it.”

  “I’ll admit the thought crossed my mind,” I said, trying to be diplomatic in my response. “There are always pictures of you and these women.”

  “Always is a pretty strong word,” he said and I couldn’t tell if I’d offended him or not.

  “Maybe it is and I’m sorry for my blatant generality,” I said before continuing. “They were beautiful though…those women. You looked happy with them.”

  He sighed and shook his head.

  “When opportunities present themselves, it’s hard for me to resist sometimes.”

  “So, you do sleep around then?” I said, giving him a playful grin although I was fighting the uncomfortable jealous feeling brewing in me. The images of Adam and the various women, all of whom put me to shame, made me think about what it would feel like to have him do those things to me. I felt my cheeks redden at the thought and I closed my eyes, trying not to think of him like that. I shouldn’t be thinking of him in this way, but I was finding it impossible not to with him this close to me.

  “This is not a talk you and I should be having, Caroline,” he said and I felt him slowly pull his hand from mine.

  “I’m not a little girl anymore, Adam,” I said softly, reaching up and tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear. I watched as his eyes moved slowly over my body. I could feel the heat building with each pass of his gaze. Just knowing he was looking at me was causing my heart to beat faster.

  “I know you’re not a little girl, Caroline. Believe me, I know.” His voice was quiet, almost as if he was struggling with the words and he wouldn’t look at me. I wanted him to look at me. I wanted to see his eyes and feel them on me.

  “Then don’t be afraid to talk to me,” I pleaded and I found myself reaching for his hand again. I took it cautiously and he didn’t pull away.

  “I’ve done things I’m not proud of, Caroline. It’s lonely sometimes though. When you don’t know who your real friends are.” He finally looked up to meet my eyes again and I could see the sadness in him.

  “We’ve always been here,” I told him and I saw a smile curl up on his face.

  “I know, but I messed it up,” he said and my heart started to ache for him. I’d just assumed Adam thought he was too good for us and this place once he’d made it big. “I miss it here. I miss the way it was before everything changed.”

  “You’re back now though,” I said softly and he smiled again.

  “I thought it was the end of the world when I threw out my arm, but I’m grateful for it now.”

  “Why? How can you be grateful for that?” I asked curiously.

  “Because it brought me back here…to this place,” he said softly and then I saw him swallow hard before speaking again. “It brought me back to this moment right now with you across from me and I realize how lucky I am.”

  I felt his hand free itself from mine and then his fingertips were brushing my cheek. My skin was warm the instant he touched it. My heart was pounding now and I could no longer hold his gaze. I looked away at Silver Falls, but then I heard his voice.

  “Look at me, Caroline,” he whispered and without hesitation, I did.

  His eyes seemed to dance across my face and I could feel the space between us closing. I could feel his warm breath on my skin as he breathed in and out. His lips were so close to mine and I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted Adam DeLain to kiss me and I felt myself inch closer, my lips aching to feel his.

  “You’re so…you’re so…” His voice was a whisper and I waited to hear what he was going to say. His lips were so close now, I could almost taste him. I could almost feel his tongue tickling my lips and slipping inside, pulling me close and doing all kinds of things to my body. I wanted it. I needed it, but then he was pulling away.

  “Adam,” I whispered and I heard the pleading in my voice as he got further away.

  “We can’t,” he said softly and it was like a punch to my gut when his words sunk in. Rejection had never hurt so badly, not even when Caleb broke up with me. I felt his fingers tangle in my hair then, pulling me close to him as he pressed his lips to my forehead, holding them there for a few moments as I felt the sting of his rejection rip through my heart. He pulled back as quickly as he’d pulled me in and climbed off the trunk and then over to the falls. I didn’t move. I couldn’t.

  A tear fell down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away. I didn’t want him to see how he’d affected me, but he had affected me. He’d affected me more by the mere thought of a kiss from him than Caleb ever had in all the times he’d made love to me. I sat on the tree trunk, breathless and choking back tears as I watched the silhouette of Adam against the falls. What the hell was he doing to me? I wasn’t supposed to be falling for him, but I was and I knew I was falling hard.

  “We should get back, Caroline,” he said, picking up the backpack and turning to me as if nothing had happened between us. Maybe to him, nothing had happened, but to me, the whole situation had left my mind a complete mess and my heart was in knots.

  “Yeah, we should,” I said, trying to act as casual as he was now as I walked over to him.

  He didn’t say anything as we turned and started walking back down the path that had brought us here. The walk in had been full of laughter and fun. It was dead silent between us now though and I hated it. Only minutes before Adam had been so close to me, bringing senses to the surface I didn’t even know existed, but now, even though he was walking right beside me, he felt a million miles away. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, his face looking forward, a stern line on his mouth as we walked. Five years ago Adam left Silver Falls, leaving all of us behind for something bigger and better. Now that he’d returned though, I found myself wishing he’d never come back.

  Ten

  My parents left for their trip the next morning. Dad had been a nervous wreck. I got up early and drove them to the airport. It was hard to believe it’d be six weeks before I saw them again.

  When I got back, I knew Adam and Sawyer were up and prepping the cows f
or the morning milking. My mom had reminded me when I dropped them off to give the boys extra help while they were gone. Her words kept replaying in my mind when I turned the car off and I went inside to change into my work clothes.

  I was nervous to see Adam. He hadn’t said much to me since Silver Falls. The walk back had been nearly silent and there’d been an awkward goodbye when we got back to the house. I wasn’t even sure it would count as a goodbye, but Adam had retreated to the stable house and I’d gone up to my room. We hadn’t seen each other since, not even at dinner. Sawyer joined us, but said Adam had decided to grab something in town. When I was getting ready for bed, I noticed his truck wasn’t there and I wondered where he went. I saw headlights shining through the window a little while later and I watched him, hidden by the curtain. I wanted to know where he’d gone, who he’d been with and why hadn’t he said anything to me since our moment at the falls. I’d felt it. I knew he had too, but he’d turned away and so far, he hadn’t looked back.

  I’d never been nervous to enter the barn before, but I was now and the second I saw him, it only grew worse. He was hunched over, getting one of the cows prepped. He must’ve heard me because he looked up the moment I walked in.

  “Good morning,” he said to me, turning back to the cow.

  “Good morning, Adam,” I said and then waited for him to say something else. He didn’t though and I could feel a tightness in my throat when I realized he wasn’t going to talk anymore. He was focused on his work and wasn’t interested in me. I followed his lead and got to work on the other side of the barn.

  “I didn’t expect to see you out here this morning,” Sawyer said to me after I’d been working for a while. I turned to see my brother walking towards me, wiping his hands on his white shirt and leaving a large brown mess on it.

  “Mom sufficiently lectured me on making sure I help out while they’re gone. She thinks the place is going to fall apart. So does Dad.”

  “They worry too much. I wish they’d just relax. I doubt they’ll even enjoy themselves.”